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Axel Jack is probably one of the most simultaniously awkward and cartoon-sounding names in the known world.

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You definitely have a point. I took care of a baby once named Maximus (with a twin sister named Dawson, no less) and with his ln, the combo made him sound like an evil Transformer or something. We had a Dax at the same time with a similarly odd fn-ln combo, and a male nurse joked that Maximus and Dax should form a band one day. :b