[Opinions] Do you think a pronunciation of a name can be "enforced"?
For example, if your name was Clara and the regional default pronunciation was Clair-uh, but you pronounced the name Clahr-uh (to rhyme with "car"), would it be reasonable to assume that you would only be called your preferred pronunciation, once you corrected/clarified for people?
Same deal with Helena (Helen-uh vs He-lay-nuh) and Anastasia (Ana-stay-dzuh vs Ana-stah-zee-uh).
Would it be too much trouble to constantly clarify a particular pronunciation?
LISTEN TO THE MUSTN'TS
- Shel Silverstein
Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me—
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.
Same deal with Helena (Helen-uh vs He-lay-nuh) and Anastasia (Ana-stay-dzuh vs Ana-stah-zee-uh).
Would it be too much trouble to constantly clarify a particular pronunciation?
LISTEN TO THE MUSTN'TS
- Shel Silverstein
Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me—
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.
Replies
It is perfectly acceptable and encouraged to tell people how you pronounce your name. I’ve seen teachers get annoyed when students say they don’t care how their name is pronounced, haha.
Yes, I think you should enforce the pronunciation of your name, especially if you're talking about different regions within the same country.
I had an Eastern-US friend who called a Western-US Naomi "Nye-oh-mi" when the western pronunciation is "Nay-oh-mi" and that annoyed me, because it's not hard for an American to say "Nay-oh-mi".
I do think it's completely normal and appropriate for someone from another country to call an American Sarah or Anna by "Sara" or "Ana", and I wouldn't try to enforce the American pronunciations of those names unless the person was really interested in learning to speak American English like a native.
But if you live in the same country and you're talking to someone who you know is fully capable of saying your name the way it's intended to be said, then you should enforce the actual pronunciation that you use UNLESS you're actively choosing to use different variants of your name in different places. Sometimes it feels nice to use a variant that makes your name feel like it fits in more where you're currently staying, like "I'm RAY-chel in the US and RA-SHEL in France", or "I'm Marie in France and Maria in Spain". But that should either be your choice or a result of people in the area not being able to pronounce your original name. For Clara I can't think of a CLAIR-uh region that wouldn't be familiar with and perfectly able to pronounce CLAHR-uh, although I can think of places where it would be the other way around and a Clair-uh might have to go by Clahr-uh because nobody can pronounce the Clair version.
I had an Eastern-US friend who called a Western-US Naomi "Nye-oh-mi" when the western pronunciation is "Nay-oh-mi" and that annoyed me, because it's not hard for an American to say "Nay-oh-mi".
I do think it's completely normal and appropriate for someone from another country to call an American Sarah or Anna by "Sara" or "Ana", and I wouldn't try to enforce the American pronunciations of those names unless the person was really interested in learning to speak American English like a native.
But if you live in the same country and you're talking to someone who you know is fully capable of saying your name the way it's intended to be said, then you should enforce the actual pronunciation that you use UNLESS you're actively choosing to use different variants of your name in different places. Sometimes it feels nice to use a variant that makes your name feel like it fits in more where you're currently staying, like "I'm RAY-chel in the US and RA-SHEL in France", or "I'm Marie in France and Maria in Spain". But that should either be your choice or a result of people in the area not being able to pronounce your original name. For Clara I can't think of a CLAIR-uh region that wouldn't be familiar with and perfectly able to pronounce CLAHR-uh, although I can think of places where it would be the other way around and a Clair-uh might have to go by Clahr-uh because nobody can pronounce the Clair version.
This message was edited 12/21/2024, 2:37 PM
I think to an extent but sometimes it's a losing battle if the varying pronunciation is the predominantly used one of the region. I have a friend named Astrid that uses the Norwegian pronunciation of "Austri", but good luck to anyone saying it that way. She's been called Astrid the American pronunciation so often she doesn't even fight it anymore. We went on vacation together recently with my family and my dad and stepmother can't say it correctly to save their lives after a whole week. I think sometimes there's a point where you have to pick and choose your battles. I also think it depends on the individual & the circumstances you're in.
This message was edited 12/21/2024, 9:03 AM
Not really but if your name has a different pronunciation from what is considered popular you will always have to correct people.
My name is always mispronounced. Ceri is like Kerry not Serry or Surrey.
I gave a little girl in my class named Julianna. She pronounces Joo lee AH nuh. I had a high school classmate who pronounced hers as joo lee ANN uh.
My name is always mispronounced. Ceri is like Kerry not Serry or Surrey.
I gave a little girl in my class named Julianna. She pronounces Joo lee AH nuh. I had a high school classmate who pronounced hers as joo lee ANN uh.
I had almost that same issue growing up. I lived in a town with a decently-sized Jewish population, and apparently the Hebrew pronunciation of Mara is closer to Mair-uh than Mahr-uh. I had a student teacher also named Mara who pronounced it Mair-uh, whereas my family pronounced it Mahr-uh. We moved to the South when I was in high school, and now most people pronounce it Mahr-uh on the first try, which I think is due in part to the higher Hispanic population here.
My last name is also unfortunately one that typically gets pronounced wrong, so I've really just gotten used to politely correcting people at this point!
Most people will just pronounce it correctly after one correction though.
My last name is also unfortunately one that typically gets pronounced wrong, so I've really just gotten used to politely correcting people at this point!
Most people will just pronounce it correctly after one correction though.
Where I live my last name is mispronounced a lot too. It's a quite common last name, but my country has a lot of Ukrainian speakers and a lot of Russian speakers and we pronounce it differently. At this point I've given up on corrections, I let people pronounce it either way.
I think that it can be frustrating for a lot of people who have no choice but to constantly reinforce their name. My father's name is Gerard, but he grew up in a time when Gerald was pretty popular. More often than not, he had to correct people, to the point that he didn't want his children to have any names that they'd have to correct people on. He gave my brother a name that started with G, but refused to name him after himself due to all of the confusion his name caused.
That being said, there is a rise in people being very proud of their names and their pronunciations (particularly people with names from different cultures), and I think it's a necessary shift away from shame. Someone mentioned below that correcting someone on your name pronunciation would not "endear" you to anyone. I think that's absurd, personally. You have a right to your name without being seen as arrogant, pretentious or entitled.
All it takes is a polite correction when it comes up. Sometimes people will slip up if the name is complex in their accent or language, but eventually they'll get the hang of it. The most important part is accepting the mistakes with grace and with the mindset that they probably aren't purposefully saying it wrong. Most poeple, anyway.
That being said, there is a rise in people being very proud of their names and their pronunciations (particularly people with names from different cultures), and I think it's a necessary shift away from shame. Someone mentioned below that correcting someone on your name pronunciation would not "endear" you to anyone. I think that's absurd, personally. You have a right to your name without being seen as arrogant, pretentious or entitled.
All it takes is a polite correction when it comes up. Sometimes people will slip up if the name is complex in their accent or language, but eventually they'll get the hang of it. The most important part is accepting the mistakes with grace and with the mindset that they probably aren't purposefully saying it wrong. Most poeple, anyway.
It would require constant education and correction if you wanted to actually "enforce" it. You might be able to teach people in your immediate circle the preferred pronunciation, but you'd have to start all over again as soon as you met someone new. It would be pretty tiresome. Forcing people to do anything is bound to be exhausting, and probably a fool's errand.
Some might just find the idea silly, as well. If you're North American but insist on pronouncing Harry or Clara "the British way" for example it would come off as being arrogant and rude.
A more realistic approach would be to teach a few key people the preferred version and hope that it is picked up by others. Most people are socially aware enough to notice a name being said a certain way and will try to copy it. But you should just accept that some people won't be able to, or will refuse to, or might not even notice the way they say it is different. I've met all these types.
Some might just find the idea silly, as well. If you're North American but insist on pronouncing Harry or Clara "the British way" for example it would come off as being arrogant and rude.
A more realistic approach would be to teach a few key people the preferred version and hope that it is picked up by others. Most people are socially aware enough to notice a name being said a certain way and will try to copy it. But you should just accept that some people won't be able to, or will refuse to, or might not even notice the way they say it is different. I've met all these types.
I don’t think there’s any problem with pronouncing Clara the British way. It’s really just Harry that would be problematic because of vowel mergers.
Where I'm from, it would be a problem. It's just not a natural sound, so it would be a constant issue. Like saying "AW-nuh" for Anna.
I don't know, I find both pronunciations of Anna to be natural.
I think it's a bit rude to constantly correct other people's pronunciations and accents, especially if you live in an area with a diverse population. The diversity of pronunciations gives a name color, meaning, and nuance. If you don't like the variance, maybe don't use a name that has so much leeway.
Some people, no matter how many times you tell them, will not pronounce the name correctly - either because they don't want to, or they don't care enough to bother because it's more work, one more thing to remember, and your preferred pronunciation doesn't come naturally to them.
Look at Kamala Harris. Her name is one more stumbling block to acceptance. Some people will never pronounce her name correctly, but constantly correcting people will not endear her to anyone either.
Some people, no matter how many times you tell them, will not pronounce the name correctly - either because they don't want to, or they don't care enough to bother because it's more work, one more thing to remember, and your preferred pronunciation doesn't come naturally to them.
Look at Kamala Harris. Her name is one more stumbling block to acceptance. Some people will never pronounce her name correctly, but constantly correcting people will not endear her to anyone either.
This message was edited 12/20/2024, 9:09 AM
My name is Emma, and nobody is bothered if I or someone else corrects them after they call me Emily. They're just apologetic. I said Kamala Harris's name wrong for a long time because I tend to read things instead of listening or watching, so I was familiar with the spelling before I knew how it was pronounced and automatically read it as ka-MAH-la. But if I'm saying it wrong and someone corrects me, there's no reason for me to be annoyed at them just because I was wrong. I can be annoyed at myself, or they can be annoyed at me, but I can't be annoyed at them when I'm the one who got it wrong.
There's a difference between variance (diverse population, different languages and accents, some people literally can't say your name the right way because those sounds don't exist in their language so they basically give you a nickname/variant that they can pronounce) and carelessness (people who can pronounce your name correctly but don't care so they call you something else).
There's a difference between variance (diverse population, different languages and accents, some people literally can't say your name the right way because those sounds don't exist in their language so they basically give you a nickname/variant that they can pronounce) and carelessness (people who can pronounce your name correctly but don't care so they call you something else).
Absolute facts!!!
it really depends on how you'd "enforce" it
just politely correct the people that pronounce it wrong, and it won't come off in a bad way
just politely correct the people that pronounce it wrong, and it won't come off in a bad way
My name is Anastasiya. I spell it with the y in English so English speakers are more likely to pronounce it correctly. It's pronounced ah-nah-stah-SEE-yah. I'm not too particular with what syllable the stress is on, as long as you're not saying a-nuh-stay-zhuh because that's a completely different name. Most people just call me Anya (AH-nyah), because that's way easier.
If it bothers you, clarify, if it doesn't, then you don't have to.
If it bothers you, clarify, if it doesn't, then you don't have to.
I think you would have only limited success getting people to say a name a different way than it's pronounced by every other person with that name in the area/in their acquaintance. And it would get to be a nuisance to have to keep doing it for every. single. person. you. meet. Never mind all the ones you see more regularly who still slip up.
And unless you have a foreign-to-the-average-person-in-the-region accent, you may well be seen as being pretentious or showing off.
And unless you have a foreign-to-the-average-person-in-the-region accent, you may well be seen as being pretentious or showing off.
I think it would. You kind of have to accept the mainstream pronunciation of a name.
It pissed me off so much that I decided to change my name
This message was edited 12/20/2024, 1:31 AM