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Help[Opinions] Is it wrong to give your baby a tribal name if you're not from that tribe?
My husband (J) and I are of Aztec descent, which is native to the people of northern Mexico. We chose some names from the Aztec language with my best friend and J's second wife (K), who is also pregnant like me. She liked a few of the names and told us she was going to name her kid one of them. When I told J my concerns, he told me to shut up, calling me an idiot. I understand that I was speaking out of turn as I am not the head of the household. But it also made J uncomfortable, although he didn't tell her that. He also didn't think it was right because it was not her ancestors' culture and tribe. She is not of Aztec descent (she is Caucasian). But he also feels like she is appropriating a culture that is not hers, and it hurts him. However, he doesn't want to hurt her feelings in any way. She is like a close sister to me and she is J's second wife. But he also feels that it's okay if she wants to name her kid an Aztec name too, especially because J is the father of K's kids as well. I think I am just overreacting because it's my first pregnancy and hormones. But it's also K's and J's fourth pregnancy. So we're conflicted about the name situation and how to tell K. Any thoughts on what we should do about the name situation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
K's other kids names are amour,Lily,Jesus
K's other kids names are amour,Lily,Jesus
This message was edited 10/14/2024, 6:17 AM
Replies
How did this topic go viral on here?
What do you mean “viral?” It has barely any responses compared to some other posts. Haha
mmmmm I don't think so
mmmmm I don't think so
OP is a troll don't waste your time
🙄
Oof, I'm starting to suspect you're a troll. Quite significantly. Ignoring the weird narrative here, as someone from a very multicultural family, I don't really understand why you'd "gatekeep" your culture in this negative way, let alone from a child who'd also be partially from your culture (even if someone isn't 100% that culture, that's still their heritage)?
Also, it's not my place to police and not my place to really pass comment or judgement, so you don't have to answer - but I do wonder why you use the term 'Aztec' rather than the seemingly widely preferred Nahua? You have your absolute right to self-determination and I'm sorry if I'm casting aspersions, but the choice of name does (as someone who has First Nations friends and family) make me at the very least curious if not a bit suspicious.
Also, it's not my place to police and not my place to really pass comment or judgement, so you don't have to answer - but I do wonder why you use the term 'Aztec' rather than the seemingly widely preferred Nahua? You have your absolute right to self-determination and I'm sorry if I'm casting aspersions, but the choice of name does (as someone who has First Nations friends and family) make me at the very least curious if not a bit suspicious.
Nahua and Aztec speak the same language that it is but are different the Aztec civilization became established roughly 125 years after the Nahua civilization fell.
This message was edited 10/17/2024, 5:07 PM
Erm.
Again, I am not from this particular indigenous background. But I'm starting to wonder... either way, this is not factually correct.
Multiple google search for 'Nahua people today': https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=f602dc89620483ed&rlz=1C1SLLM_en-GBGB1109GB1109&sxsrf=ADLYWIK1USJbpmglm4QqMq988UDLiS8POQ:1729279870280&q=Nahua+people+today&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjjnIrD1ZiJAxWLbEEAHQKoFacQ1QJ6BAhVEAE&biw=1536&bih=695&dpr=1.25
Britannica article about the Nahua people: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Nahua
One of many ethnographic websites about the Nahua people: https://ehrafworldcultures.yale.edu/cultures/nu46/summary
Examples of publications about Nahua culture and society TO PRESENT DAY: https://www.ubcpress.ca/the-nahua
I hate to refer to Wiki, but I'm going to - the Nahua people literally have a page referring to them as very much alive and thriving - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nahuas
I also hate to refer to Reddit but I'm going to - here - https://www.reddit.com/r/mesoamerica/comments/10xza4u/mexicaaztecnahuatl_getting_the_terms_right/ and also the Nahuatl subreddit. According to this my question of Nahua isn't strictly right as it refers mainly to Nahuatl-speaking persons, but I have also been very up front with my lack of cultural knowledge and not wanting to overstep my mark as someone not from the culture... but it's still a term that's used.
Again, I am not from this particular indigenous background. But I'm starting to wonder... either way, this is not factually correct.
Multiple google search for 'Nahua people today': https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=f602dc89620483ed&rlz=1C1SLLM_en-GBGB1109GB1109&sxsrf=ADLYWIK1USJbpmglm4QqMq988UDLiS8POQ:1729279870280&q=Nahua+people+today&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjjnIrD1ZiJAxWLbEEAHQKoFacQ1QJ6BAhVEAE&biw=1536&bih=695&dpr=1.25
Britannica article about the Nahua people: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Nahua
One of many ethnographic websites about the Nahua people: https://ehrafworldcultures.yale.edu/cultures/nu46/summary
Examples of publications about Nahua culture and society TO PRESENT DAY: https://www.ubcpress.ca/the-nahua
I hate to refer to Wiki, but I'm going to - the Nahua people literally have a page referring to them as very much alive and thriving - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nahuas
I also hate to refer to Reddit but I'm going to - here - https://www.reddit.com/r/mesoamerica/comments/10xza4u/mexicaaztecnahuatl_getting_the_terms_right/ and also the Nahuatl subreddit. According to this my question of Nahua isn't strictly right as it refers mainly to Nahuatl-speaking persons, but I have also been very up front with my lack of cultural knowledge and not wanting to overstep my mark as someone not from the culture... but it's still a term that's used.
This message was edited 10/18/2024, 1:29 PM
Hey I understand where your coming from.But Aztec people and the Nahua people are different tribes that happened at different times from each other.Yes I know that the Aztec are descendant from Nahua tribe. I just was trying to say that they both happen at different times from each other.The Aztec tribe was formed 125 years after the Nahua tribe fell.
Lol. I don't think you do understand.
ok
You are both married to J? Why would he be upset over an Aztec name if the child is his with Aztec descent?
OP is a troll. I was going to write out all the discrepancies myself, but I didn't want to use the brain power, so instead I fed their posts into AI and had it write them out for me. God bless modern technology.
“Overview: The Poster’s Fabricated Polyamorous "Fundamentalist" Marriage
The original poster (OP) presents a series of highly contradictory claims about being part of a polyamorous "Fundamentalist" marriage. The narrative includes multiple inconsistencies related to relationships, pregnancies, and sexual activity. These contradictions, along with cultural inaccuracies, suggest that OP is fabricating the story to provoke reactions. Here’s a detailed breakdown of the discrepancies, with initials for the characters: "J," "K," "R," and "Z."
---
1. Timeline of Relationships and Children:
OP claims that she and her husband "J" met in high school, began dating in 10th grade, and married after graduation. Five years later, "J" married "K" after four months of dating. OP also says that "J" and "K" had four children by the time they got married, which is impossible due to the time constraints involved. The story lacks coherence in terms of how long they’ve been together and how many children they have.
Additionally, OP introduces a third wife, "R," in only one post, where she mentions that "J" has two children with "R." However, "R" is completely absent from the rest of OP’s narrative. Typically, OP frames the polygamous dynamic as involving just herself and "K" as the co-wives. The introduction of "R" feels like an afterthought and is not woven into the rest of the story, raising questions about whether this character is a real part of the narrative.
---
2. Geographical and Cultural Discrepancies:
OP makes several geographical mistakes while claiming Aztec descent. For instance, she says that the Aztec people come from northern Mexico, which is geographically incorrect—the Aztecs lived in central Mexico, particularly around modern-day Mexico City. This major error suggests a superficial understanding of the cultural heritage OP is trying to portray.
“Overview: The Poster’s Fabricated Polyamorous "Fundamentalist" Marriage
The original poster (OP) presents a series of highly contradictory claims about being part of a polyamorous "Fundamentalist" marriage. The narrative includes multiple inconsistencies related to relationships, pregnancies, and sexual activity. These contradictions, along with cultural inaccuracies, suggest that OP is fabricating the story to provoke reactions. Here’s a detailed breakdown of the discrepancies, with initials for the characters: "J," "K," "R," and "Z."
---
1. Timeline of Relationships and Children:
OP claims that she and her husband "J" met in high school, began dating in 10th grade, and married after graduation. Five years later, "J" married "K" after four months of dating. OP also says that "J" and "K" had four children by the time they got married, which is impossible due to the time constraints involved. The story lacks coherence in terms of how long they’ve been together and how many children they have.
Additionally, OP introduces a third wife, "R," in only one post, where she mentions that "J" has two children with "R." However, "R" is completely absent from the rest of OP’s narrative. Typically, OP frames the polygamous dynamic as involving just herself and "K" as the co-wives. The introduction of "R" feels like an afterthought and is not woven into the rest of the story, raising questions about whether this character is a real part of the narrative.
---
2. Geographical and Cultural Discrepancies:
OP makes several geographical mistakes while claiming Aztec descent. For instance, she says that the Aztec people come from northern Mexico, which is geographically incorrect—the Aztecs lived in central Mexico, particularly around modern-day Mexico City. This major error suggests a superficial understanding of the cultural heritage OP is trying to portray.
This is brilliant. 😂
yes. OP just needs to be herself. it's a whole lot easier and I bet it would feel much better than all this lying.
Ooof, I gave a genuine response to this poster and now I do feel like I've been feeding a troll.
Good troll-hunting, but I will say be careful with your points about '3. Inconsistent Relationship Dynamics', for example, a partner wanting to "open" a relationship (e.g. cheat) and becoming hostile and agressive when their partner meets other people and has more success in the "open" relationship is actually pretty common in some (in my opinion) unhealthy relationships. 'Inconsistant dynamics' like that could also be indicative of an abusive situation. Your other points still stand undisputed, but a partner "opening" a relationship and then becoming physically abusive when they feel "cheated on" is unfortunately far from the least believable part of this. Whilst this is probably a creative writing exercise by a very bored person, I do think we've gotta be aware that being dismissive of 'inconsistant relationship dynamics' could prevent people in genuinely difficult relationships asking for support because they feel they might not be believed. (I feel obliged to say that on the odd chance anyone reading this IS in an abusive situation, please do reach out for support as people will believe you and support you and help you out of the situation you are in. If this OP is just a troll, the use of a DV "storyline" is sadly unoriginal and just unbelievably low and scummy)
Also no sex during pregnancy is sadly a thing some people genuinely believe. Most people get rubbish sex ed. I grew up in the UK (better sex ed than the US but still not great) and I knew guys who thought women were straight on haemorrhaging for a week when we got our periods ("how do you bleed for a week and not die?"), that we can hold our periods in, and that we pee and bleed from the same place...so... thinking no sex during pregnancy does not really read troll or satire to me, it could (not in this case with everything added up) just be faulty education.
Good troll-hunting, but I will say be careful with your points about '3. Inconsistent Relationship Dynamics', for example, a partner wanting to "open" a relationship (e.g. cheat) and becoming hostile and agressive when their partner meets other people and has more success in the "open" relationship is actually pretty common in some (in my opinion) unhealthy relationships. 'Inconsistant dynamics' like that could also be indicative of an abusive situation. Your other points still stand undisputed, but a partner "opening" a relationship and then becoming physically abusive when they feel "cheated on" is unfortunately far from the least believable part of this. Whilst this is probably a creative writing exercise by a very bored person, I do think we've gotta be aware that being dismissive of 'inconsistant relationship dynamics' could prevent people in genuinely difficult relationships asking for support because they feel they might not be believed. (I feel obliged to say that on the odd chance anyone reading this IS in an abusive situation, please do reach out for support as people will believe you and support you and help you out of the situation you are in. If this OP is just a troll, the use of a DV "storyline" is sadly unoriginal and just unbelievably low and scummy)
Also no sex during pregnancy is sadly a thing some people genuinely believe. Most people get rubbish sex ed. I grew up in the UK (better sex ed than the US but still not great) and I knew guys who thought women were straight on haemorrhaging for a week when we got our periods ("how do you bleed for a week and not die?"), that we can hold our periods in, and that we pee and bleed from the same place...so... thinking no sex during pregnancy does not really read troll or satire to me, it could (not in this case with everything added up) just be faulty education.
You make valid points. I will only add that though people can falsely believe pregnant women can't engage in intimacy, OP had previously written contradictory statements concerning pregnency intimacy involvement and beliefs.
Right on!
As a mixed person, I think it's fine to name your kid any name, as long as it isn't offensive (i.e. a slur). Names originate from specific cultures, but they mean different things to every person. Besides, culture is meant to be shared, and gatekeeping names isn't the way to go about it.
Edit: I have since read OP's other messages, and they most definitely seem to be a troll. So I hope that if anyone who is genuinely wondering about whether or not you can name your child a name that originates from another culture, this helps them. :)
Edit: I have since read OP's other messages, and they most definitely seem to be a troll. So I hope that if anyone who is genuinely wondering about whether or not you can name your child a name that originates from another culture, this helps them. :)
This message was edited 10/20/2024, 2:24 PM
No, it's not wrong. People can name their own baby anything that is meaningful to them. Even if she's white. It's not anybody else's business, not even a sister's. I think it's about as sensical for a husband to feel like a wife is appropriating his culture, in naming his own child, as it would be for him to feel like it was a snub of his culture if she chose a name from her own heritage. Like he's just looking for reasons to get offended.
This message was edited 10/14/2024, 11:44 AM
Well he is not sensical J he just worried that the culture would go to the wrong hands.I not K's sister.I married to J and so is K.J not just looking for a reason to be offended.
100% agree
100% disagree
You asked for opinions and you got them 🤷♀️
ok
Sorry but I agree with Mirfak. I have Cornish ancestry going back to at least 1622 but my husband D has no Cornish ancestry at all. Does that mean we shouldn’t pick a Cornish name because any child of ours would only have Cornish ancestry from 1 parent. As it stands we have decided on a Cornish name for a hypothetical girl. I love the name that we decided on and the meaning of the name means something to both of us.
Right? As an American myself I can only fathom how complicated this would be if American couples with unending combinations of ethnicities used the same thought process 😅🤣🤣🤣 no one would have a name in the end, lol
mmmmm ok
If J is of Aztec descent and the father of K's child, why couldn't his kid receive an Aztec name? It might be cultural appropriation if K's child had no relationship with Aztec culture, but according to you 50% of the kid's heritage is Aztec.
On a side note, J is extremely disrespectful to you. Since K's baby isn't your child, you may not have the right to name them, but J could have expressed that in a way that wasn't belittling. If J frequently resorts to name name-calling and degrading language in order to assert some kind of dominance over you, please look into verbal and emotional abuse.
On a side note, J is extremely disrespectful to you. Since K's baby isn't your child, you may not have the right to name them, but J could have expressed that in a way that wasn't belittling. If J frequently resorts to name name-calling and degrading language in order to assert some kind of dominance over you, please look into verbal and emotional abuse.
No J not Abuse I like this dominance.He was just trying to tell me K's kid not mine so don't worry.
Healthy dominance stuff does not include calling your partner an idiot for voicing an opinion you disagree with.
Wait.... Your husband is J.... And J is also married to this K woman? Or is K's husband a different person? I'm confused about this.
If J is of Aztec descent, and he's the father of K's baby, the baby will be of Aztec descent, even if it's half Caucasian. So it's fine for K to use the name on a cultural basis.
If J is of Aztec descent, and he's the father of K's baby, the baby will be of Aztec descent, even if it's half Caucasian. So it's fine for K to use the name on a cultural basis.
Yes my husband J is married to me and also K. But what if the baby comes out looking more light skinned Is it fine then for the name of Aztec? #New_Chloë
This message was edited 10/14/2024, 5:39 AM
If you're part of the modern indigenous community you must surely be aware that people can be indigenous and mixed.