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Help[Opinions] Re: Love on a boy (m)
in reply to a message by Raven Briar
Courtney is one of my sisters ex-boyfriends. He was born in 1995 and liked his name well enough. Yes I did ask him, because I am a name nerd. I asked a Madison (1989), and Ashley (approx 1992).
Fair enough I didn't know Kelly or Kelsey (late 60s/70s?) to ask about their names.
Fair enough I didn't know Kelly or Kelsey (late 60s/70s?) to ask about their names.
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I knew a Leslie in middle school. His only complaint about his name was the hard Z vs. soft S sound in the middle. He had a strong preference for one and it would drive him nuts when somebody used the other. Our science teacher used the “wrong” one all the time, and this normally nice, obedient kid always had huge behavioural problems in that class. I’m not sure if it was forgetfulness, arrogance or trolling on the teacher’s end, but he didn’t seem to even try. But the gendering of Leslie wasn’t a problem.
I went to school with a boy named Kelly Lynn (fn/ln) all through elementary and high school. We ran in different circles, (he was a popular kid) but I do know that he was often embarrassed by his name. I know he attempted suicide after high school. Obviously his name wouldn’t have caused that, but he was often more melancholy about it than angry. Whether that was a symptom of his personality or whether the hated name was a symptom of a disconnect at home, who knows? Probably had nothing to do with it at all.
I also had a high school friend who changed his name from Courtney to Lee when he transitioned FtM. Despite both names being technically unisex he felt Courtney was too feminine. It may also have been about shaking off the past.
I went to school with a boy named Kelly Lynn (fn/ln) all through elementary and high school. We ran in different circles, (he was a popular kid) but I do know that he was often embarrassed by his name. I know he attempted suicide after high school. Obviously his name wouldn’t have caused that, but he was often more melancholy about it than angry. Whether that was a symptom of his personality or whether the hated name was a symptom of a disconnect at home, who knows? Probably had nothing to do with it at all.
I also had a high school friend who changed his name from Courtney to Lee when he transitioned FtM. Despite both names being technically unisex he felt Courtney was too feminine. It may also have been about shaking off the past.
This message was edited 8/4/2020, 6:01 AM
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I say Leslie with a hard Z and it would be a real effort to say it with a soft S. I doubt it was deliberate on the teacher's part, and I doubt it was forgetfulness, arrogance, or trolling. It's just hard to say one little sound differently than you normally do and do that all of the time. The response on the part of Leslie was a ridiculous overreaction.
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If somebody asks you repeatedly to pronounce their name a certain way, I consider it rude not to try.
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yes ...
Especially if it's not a sound foreign to them; like few westerners would pronounce Chinese names exactly as they are pronounced in Chinese, but the s versus z sound should be easy to manage and shouldn't need repeated reminders.
It's about as rude as repeatedly calling someone by a nn when they've asked specifically to be called by another nn or by the full name. It may not be intentional rudeness, but it is rude.
Especially if it's not a sound foreign to them; like few westerners would pronounce Chinese names exactly as they are pronounced in Chinese, but the s versus z sound should be easy to manage and shouldn't need repeated reminders.
It's about as rude as repeatedly calling someone by a nn when they've asked specifically to be called by another nn or by the full name. It may not be intentional rudeness, but it is rude.
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No, this particular instance is silly. My own name can be an example, although I'm not certain how to explain it accurately in type. Most people pronounce the first syllable of my name with the A sound like the A sound in "sand". But a few people, including my own father, pronounce the first syllable with a flatter A sound, like the A sound in "cat". It's a matter of accent, I think, my father said a few other words differently than the rest of the family, such as "rowt" for "route" when the rest of the family said "root". (Although he was from the same area as the rest of us so I don't know why this was so.) It's one little sound, a matter of accent more than anything else. I can just see myself pitching fits at people who use the "cat" syllable and not the "can" syllable.
This message was edited 8/4/2020, 9:10 AM
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My point, though, is that it's one little sound. Not something like "Cynthia" rather than "Cindy" or pronouncing Aisling the correct way as ASH-lyn instead of the way that most Americans would initially think, AYZ-lin. I really think I'd find it impossible to say "LES-lie" rather than "LEZ-lie" on a regular basis. It's like trying to "correct" an accent.
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