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I like Oliver a lot, but I can't stand Ollie.
And yup, it's out of your hands, because it's not your name! - little Minerva might love being Minnie. The only way round it is to come up with another nn that you can tolerate, and establish that instead. (Mimi? Mia? Mivvy?)

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I do know a lot of people who don't use the standard nn for their name, or don't use one at all. But almost all of them have been called the disliked nn by at least a few people in their lifetimes.