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Help[Facts] Potluck Eagle Bake -- bring your own Eagle Beak joke
in reply to a message by PriaposLovs
QUESTION: "How many Eagle Beaks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
ANSWER: "None. The lightbulb never offended the sacred memory of Empress Alexandra of Russia."
-- Nanaea
ANSWER: "None. The lightbulb never offended the sacred memory of Empress Alexandra of Russia."
-- Nanaea
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Replies
Alexandra too had an eagle beak!
check out for yerself: http://www.alexanderpalace.org/palace/images/ptalix2.jpg
check out for yerself: http://www.alexanderpalace.org/palace/images/ptalix2.jpg
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OH MY GODS!!!!
Don't DOOOOOOO that to a person before they've had at least one cup of coffee, Priapos! I took one look at that chick, and I had to run out to my car, rip off the battery cover, and wash my eyes out in acid!
Maaaaaan. Eagle Beak gets off on *that*???
-- Nanaea
Don't DOOOOOOO that to a person before they've had at least one cup of coffee, Priapos! I took one look at that chick, and I had to run out to my car, rip off the battery cover, and wash my eyes out in acid!
Maaaaaan. Eagle Beak gets off on *that*???
-- Nanaea
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Perhaps the emotion evoked in Eagle Beak isn't sexual, but jealousy. I bet he just wants to wear the tiara.
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LOL! That tiara sure startled me, I'll tell ya. Ain't enough chamomile tea in the WORLD to calm one down after seeing a freakish thing like that on a woman's head. :)
-- Nanaea
-- Nanaea
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Well, now that I've had my cup of camomile tea ;) I can calm now enough to take another peek at Eagle Beak's fantasy girlfriend...
OH MY GODS!!!! OH MY GOOD GODS!!!! AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!
Day-AM! Eagle Beak's fantasy girlfriend is so ugly, when she looks out the window I'll bet she gets arrested for mooning. She's so ugly, if she goes to the beach the cats will try to bury her.
Oh noooooo! There I go again! I hope Eagle Beak isn't still lurking around here and reading this, coz I think I may have offended him again. Well slap mah hand 'n' call me bad. ;)
-- Nanaea
OH MY GODS!!!! OH MY GOOD GODS!!!! AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!
Day-AM! Eagle Beak's fantasy girlfriend is so ugly, when she looks out the window I'll bet she gets arrested for mooning. She's so ugly, if she goes to the beach the cats will try to bury her.
Oh noooooo! There I go again! I hope Eagle Beak isn't still lurking around here and reading this, coz I think I may have offended him again. Well slap mah hand 'n' call me bad. ;)
-- Nanaea
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Shes so ucking ugly she can make the Transiberian RR hit as dirt road.
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Nanaea
What do you have against cats? The feral colony I help wouln't even bother relieving themselves on her, and I don't know of any feline who would even try to bury her (even their big cousins). If you want to see UGLY, look at a picture of one of her supposed lovers Rasputin. Oh, yeah, before you do, drink a 12 cup pot of tea (chamomile, lavendar, peppermint (or spearmint if you don't have peppermint on hand), catnip, and rose hips (perhaps a pinch of sweet basil JIC)). Also, have a bottle of Pepto Bismol on hand for after you see his picture.
Phyllis
What do you have against cats? The feral colony I help wouln't even bother relieving themselves on her, and I don't know of any feline who would even try to bury her (even their big cousins). If you want to see UGLY, look at a picture of one of her supposed lovers Rasputin. Oh, yeah, before you do, drink a 12 cup pot of tea (chamomile, lavendar, peppermint (or spearmint if you don't have peppermint on hand), catnip, and rose hips (perhaps a pinch of sweet basil JIC)). Also, have a bottle of Pepto Bismol on hand for after you see his picture.
Phyllis
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If anybody's interested, there is a picture of Rasputin at http://www.alexanderpalace.org/gilliard.V.html, along with the story behind his taking over palace life.
Phyllis
Phyllis
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Nanaea
I respect your feelings on the subject of Rasputin, but I just can't get over three *major* facts about the guy:
1. He NEVER bathed, and his picture kinda showed it.
2. The main attribute he had (besides his *tradition*) was mesmerizing eyes (which he used to get *willing* females to use his *tradition* on during orgies).
3. I sat next to a guy who looked (and smelled) like Rasputin in high school. Give me one Tom Baker look-alike (after a bath or shower) instead, plz.
On the third note, I'll always remember the lice he brought into school. The only ones I didn't catch from him were crab lice. I wonder if he ever learned how to take a bath after we graduated.
Hopefully still cool in your opinion despite this one point of disagreement [ :) ]
Phyllis Sidhe Uaine
I respect your feelings on the subject of Rasputin, but I just can't get over three *major* facts about the guy:
1. He NEVER bathed, and his picture kinda showed it.
2. The main attribute he had (besides his *tradition*) was mesmerizing eyes (which he used to get *willing* females to use his *tradition* on during orgies).
3. I sat next to a guy who looked (and smelled) like Rasputin in high school. Give me one Tom Baker look-alike (after a bath or shower) instead, plz.
On the third note, I'll always remember the lice he brought into school. The only ones I didn't catch from him were crab lice. I wonder if he ever learned how to take a bath after we graduated.
Hopefully still cool in your opinion despite this one point of disagreement [ :) ]
Phyllis Sidhe Uaine
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Haven't seen any of the Dr. Who's (Whose?) since me younger days, but didn't about 8 different guys play him at one time or another?
(Unlike Morse, whom my wife says I resemble in traits in many ways.)
(Unlike Morse, whom my wife says I resemble in traits in many ways.)
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I love it when you get like this, Nan, I can begin to see your *horns* surface!!
Sarahjeanne
Sarahjeanne
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I can't understand why someone like Eagle Beak would call him/herself a part of a sacred bird for the American Indians. If one of my former professors was reading some of what this person has posted, there would be a loooooooong rant from him (my professor). He would love to teach a lesson, but I guess that he would only take the time for someone who would truly listen (a lesson he learned from the various elders he studied under).
If anybody's interested, I'll try to find the different stories about why the eagle is considered sacred.
Phyllis
If anybody's interested, I'll try to find the different stories about why the eagle is considered sacred.
Phyllis
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I think our unwelcome visitor has named him/herself after the emblem of the Russian Imperial Family -- the two-headed Romanov eagle.
And, even though they say "two heads are better than one"... After jamming the first head up his/her you-know-what, Eagle Beak still probably wouldn't have known what to do with the other one.
-- Nanaea
And, even though they say "two heads are better than one"... After jamming the first head up his/her you-know-what, Eagle Beak still probably wouldn't have known what to do with the other one.
-- Nanaea
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It all stems from a story about a conversation between the Great Spirit and an eagle.
Great Spirit was angry at what man (humans) were doing, and S/he (Great Spirit doesn't have a gender, so I'll use s/he when talking about him/her) planned on destroying this world again. A lone eagle went before Great Spirit and pleaded our (man's) case. Great Spirit responded that as long as at least one man lives "in balance", this world would be spared, but Eagle would have to fly around and find proof, then bring it before Him/Her. That is why the eagles fly the way they do, because S/he (Great Spirit) has them (the eagles) monitoring us, and as long as they fly, man will be safe.
That is kinda the "Readers Digest" version. If you can find a copy of What My Elders Taught Me by John Boatman (my professor) I think it has one rendition of the actual story in it. It's an American Indian legend (or it could be true, metaphysically), so there might be other renditions elsewhere.
Phyllis
Great Spirit was angry at what man (humans) were doing, and S/he (Great Spirit doesn't have a gender, so I'll use s/he when talking about him/her) planned on destroying this world again. A lone eagle went before Great Spirit and pleaded our (man's) case. Great Spirit responded that as long as at least one man lives "in balance", this world would be spared, but Eagle would have to fly around and find proof, then bring it before Him/Her. That is why the eagles fly the way they do, because S/he (Great Spirit) has them (the eagles) monitoring us, and as long as they fly, man will be safe.
That is kinda the "Readers Digest" version. If you can find a copy of What My Elders Taught Me by John Boatman (my professor) I think it has one rendition of the actual story in it. It's an American Indian legend (or it could be true, metaphysically), so there might be other renditions elsewhere.
Phyllis
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Eagle Legend
Thanks for sharing that, Phyllis . :) BTW, I think you'd mentioned under another posting that you had a copy of Starhawk's *The Spiral Dance*. Miriam Simos (a.k.a. Starhawk) was one of the pioneers (in my opinion, and others I'm sure) of the modern neo-pagan movement in the U.S .
I just dug out her book from a shelf in my private library, and I'm going now through her Tables of Correspondences at the back to try to put together a database of words from that section that can be used in conjunction with my Native American database for anagraming Native American/Magical names for people.
Will have to run your name and others through it when it's done, and see what the Anagram Oracle declares your Magick Names should be. :)
-- Nanaea
Thanks for sharing that, Phyllis . :) BTW, I think you'd mentioned under another posting that you had a copy of Starhawk's *The Spiral Dance*. Miriam Simos (a.k.a. Starhawk) was one of the pioneers (in my opinion, and others I'm sure) of the modern neo-pagan movement in the U.S .
I just dug out her book from a shelf in my private library, and I'm going now through her Tables of Correspondences at the back to try to put together a database of words from that section that can be used in conjunction with my Native American database for anagraming Native American/Magical names for people.
Will have to run your name and others through it when it's done, and see what the Anagram Oracle declares your Magick Names should be. :)
-- Nanaea
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As Phyllis said, no biggie about the spelling, Gia . I mean, you're not a schoolteacher and it's not like we're paying you our hard-earned tax dollars to set any kind of standard of excellence for America's young minds. :) (I'm hard on teachers, but... eh! :)
And Phyllis and I, too, can misspell words all we want, coz nobody's paying us either for what we spew forth.
Phyllis is your Wicca 101 Instructor, and I be da Professor o' Cool! :)
-- Nanaea
And Phyllis and I, too, can misspell words all we want, coz nobody's paying us either for what we spew forth.
Phyllis is your Wicca 101 Instructor, and I be da Professor o' Cool! :)
-- Nanaea
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Gia Nadine
Don't worry about spelling. I've encountered a few professors that rely on Spell Check, dictionaries and thesauri more than the regular textbooks. Besides, I rely on Spell Check and Grammar Check when writing term papers, too.
Another funny thing is that some textbooks and other published material have spelling errors in them, too.
Phyllis
Don't worry about spelling. I've encountered a few professors that rely on Spell Check, dictionaries and thesauri more than the regular textbooks. Besides, I rely on Spell Check and Grammar Check when writing term papers, too.
Another funny thing is that some textbooks and other published material have spelling errors in them, too.
Phyllis
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